Rons Rants

A Blog Is A Self-Inflicted Invasion Of Privacy

Name:
Location: Newland, North Carolina, United States

I'm a fifty two year old happily married man who doesn't really like many people which is why I live on the top of a mountain.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Carl's Corner... Part II

I took a shower and got ready to go to Carl's Corner for the first time. It was already almost nine o'clock and I was starving so, I hurried down the stairs and found Elizabeth waiting in the office.
She was obviously pretty well smashed already so I asked her if she still wanted to go.

"Hell yes! I've gotta go to make sure those shumbitches don't rob me blind!" she said. "Are you ready?"

"Sure, let's go." I said.

She tossed me a set of keys and told me to drive. I was thankful she did because there was no way in hell I was riding with her drunk ass driving!

She locked up the place and led me to her brand new Crown Victoria.

"Nice." I said as I opened the driver side door.

She stood by the passenger side door and glared at me.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

She shot me an evil look.

"Didn't your mama teach you any fuckin' mannersh?" she slurred.

I laughed.

"Sorry...I don't know what the hell got into me." I laughed as I hustled around the car and opened her door.

"That'sh more like it...you little shumbitsh." she mumbled.

As I walked back around the car, I remember thinking that this old gal was a real pistol.

I got in and started the car.

"Where's your guitar?" she asked.

I looked puzzled.

"Upstairs." I told her.

"Go get it...I wanna hear you play shumpthin'." she barked.

"Right here?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"No, you dumb shumbitsh...at the club." she said.

I turned in the seat and looked at her.

"Listen lady, I appreciate the job and all that but I ain't your damned servant so, stop orderin' me around."

She copped a major attitude and threw her door open.

"Well fuck you!" she yelled. "You're fired!"

Damn!! I had just been fired from a job I had held for less than eight hours! A new personal record for me.

She stormed around the car and yanked my door open.

"You get the fuck outta my gotdamned car! I'll drive my own damned self!"

I got out slowly and looked at her standing there swaying a bit.

"Look, you've got no business drivin' in your condition Elizabeth." I said.

She stepped back a bit and adopted a defiant stance. I wish I could accurately describe the look on her face.

It was quite obvious that, in her youth, she had been a very nice looking woman. Time and liquor had taken a severe toll on her but, she still looked pretty good under a few pounds of carefully applied makeup. She was about 5'5'' maybe 110 lbs and had a good figure for her age. Her face was a bit like a world weary Suzanne Pleshette with a hint of that crazy woman in "Play Misty For Me" Jessica Walter.

Kind of spooky.

Anyway....she had a mean look on her face even though she was smiling or, whatever that thing was that passed for a smile.

"What condition am I in?" she demanded.

"Well, you know....you've been drinking a bit." I explained.

"Are you callin' me a drunk?" she screamed.

I was already tired of this damned woman.

"Look....you do whatever you want to....I'm going somewhere..without YOU and gettin' something to eat." I walked to my car.

I hadn't made it ten feet when she spoke up.

"What kind of gentleman are you?" she asked quietly.

Jeez....this woman was nuttier than chipmunk droppings!

I walked back to where she was standing.

"I don't know where you got the idea that I'm willing to take a bunch of horseshit from you but...I ain't!" I said angrily.

"I gave you a job." she said as though that made sense.

I leaned against her car and shook my head.

"Yeah....and you just fired me! Remember?" I asked her.

She didn't answer.

"Does everyone let you get away with this shit?" I asked.

She looked up at me and grinned.

"Yeah....actually, they do." she laughed.

"Well, I've got news for you...I won't." I said. "Now...do you wanna act like you've got some damned sense and go to Carl's or, do you wanna drive drunk?" I demanded.

She looked stunned for a second.

"Well?" I prompted.

She gave me a sly grin.

"I'm not sure if I like you or not."

"Liz, this is probably gonna come as a huge shock to you but I don't give a fat rat's ass whether you like me or not." I told her.

She genuinely looked disappointed.

"I'm your boss, you don't have to like me." she said defiantly.

"You're not my boss.....remember?" I turned back towards my car, fishing my keys out of my jeans.

"You're really gonna go?" she whined.

"You bet your drunken crazy ass I am." I shot back at her.

"I'm sorry." she said quietly. "You caught me on a bad day...I'll be good."

Again, the sly grin.

I had both arms on top of my car and was looking at her....speechless. She walked up and peered at me across the roof, her face visible only from the nose up.

"Come on....let's go have some fun, I want you to play some guitar for us!" suddenly she was an excited little kid.

"How the hell do you know if I'm even worth a shit?" I asked.

She laughed.

"I knew who you were when you showed up to rent the apartment....I saw you play in Five Points with a band a few times." she giggled. "I figured since you needed a job you might want to play for me at Carl's."

"You have music there?" I asked.

She rose up on her tip toes, exposing the rest of her face.

"Why hell no, just an old juke box." she snapped. "Carl's is a real shit hole but, I plan to change that."

"You call your own place a shit hole?" I was amazed. "Must be really bad."

"Oh lordy son...you gotta see this joint. I bought it from Carl, the dispatcher. He needed the money so..I got it cheap but....it's got potential." she explained.

I thought about it a minute.....

Here I was broke, living in a matchbox apartment, AND unemployed with approximately four hundred bucks to my name.

What the hell, I'd give it a shot and at least check out the situation....and get fed! Dear Lord....a young man's hunger is a merciless bitch.

"Ok, I'll go take a look BUT under a couple of conditions." I said flatly.

She cocked her head and waited.

"First of all, I ain't your whippin' boy so lay off the abuse."

"Done" she said.

"Secondly, if I do work for you in any respect, I get paid cash...daily or nightly, whatever the case may be." I demanded. "Oh yeah...the next time you fire me will be for keeps."

She looked shocked.

"What? You don't trust me?" she asked innocently.

"Lady, I don't even know you but so far....hell no I don't trust you. I've seen your type before."

"And just what is MY type?" she demanded.

"Ok...we may as well get this out of the way right now." I said. "You're a little dictator who likes to throw your weight around on the hired help. You drink too much and think too little. You've got more moods than Carter's got little liver pills. You've got a mean streak a mile wide and one inch deep AND you don't like being talked to like this!" I smiled at her.

To my surprise, she busted out laughing.

"Damn, you sure we haven't met before?" she was still chuckling. "Cause you just nailed me! Guilty as charged but....I pay well."

I could tell the confrontation had sobered her up a bit but, I never make deals with a drunk so I suggested we talk about it tomorrow after I'd checked out Carl's tonight. She agreed.

Carl's was located only ten minutes away and, when we pulled into the parking lot, it was almost full. Liz pointed to an open spot directly in front of the door and, of course I pulled the Crown Vic into it.

"Lucky break findin' an open spot by the front door huh?" I commented.

She snorted. "Lucky my ass! Everybody knows this is MY spot! I own a gotdamned wrecker service and they know I'll tow their ass!! Let's go."

I couldn't help but laugh. She was a fiesty little broad.

Carl's was located in a one story building which looked to have been, in better times, a little strip mall. From left to right, the building hosted a real estate office, an amusement machine company and the final two spots contained Carl's Corner.

The lower half of the front plate glass windows were blacked out as was the front door. There was a beer sign in the left side of the window and a small painted sign over the door which read, "Carl's Corner". Very clever.

Damned if Elizabeth didn't wait for me to open her door again so...I did.

I also opened and held the door to Carl's for her as she swept into the place like a movie star making her big entrance. She went straight to the bar as the bartender, a rough looking bleached blonde woman, delivered a drink to a spot which was obviously HERS.

As I made my way to the bar, I looked around.

The main room was forty feet wide and sixty feet deep. The bar itself was actually a nice old one with an ornate mirrored bar back and ran down the left side of the place. Two pool tables were located in the middle of the floor in the back one third of the room. Tables and chairs lined the right side of the room.

A small alcove was located to the left of the front door with a pretty cool stand up bar built into the far wall so that it looked sort of like a window in the wall which opened to another, smaller, narrower room. The back room contained ten video poker machines which were being played furiously by ten focused players. Rest rooms were toward the back of the place and a kitchen area was beyond that.

Finished with my little look-see, I went to the bar where Elizabeth was nursing her drink. It was standing room only at the bar so....I stood beside and slightly behind her.

"What'll you have?" the bartender asked.

"Michelobe please ma'am"

She looked at Elizabeth and then winked at me.

"Well....a fella with manners. Where'd you find him?"

"He's workin' for me." she replied.

"I might be workin' for you...remember?"

She looked at the bar tender.

"He's picky about takin' orders....the sumbitch!" she said dejectedly as she sipped her drink.

The bar tender reached out and shook my hand.

"If you don't like takin' orders, you've got no business working for Liz...she thinks she's General Patton!" she grinned.

"Screw you Patsy, you smart assed bitch! I'm tryin' to hire this sumbitch and you're busting my chops!" she shouted over the bar noise and juke box. "I oughta fire your ass!"

"Liz, you've fired me twice this month, a third time won't bother me none." she chuckled.

Elizabeth grinned that sly grin of hers and looked at me.

"Patsy's my sister, I can't really fire her. The hateful bitch would turn my ass in to the IRS so fast it'd make my head spin!" she looked at Patsy and added, "you bitch!"

Patsy just laughed and nodded her head, looking at me.

"I would to." she cracked, "I'm ALSO her bookeeper! I know where the bodies are buried!"

Elizabeth spun her stool around.

"Sit down for God's sake, you're hurtin' my neck big boy."

There was an old gray haired man sitting next to her minding his own business.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Where?" I asked.

"Oh yeah." she said as she turn towards the old dude. "Charley, it's past your bed time...go home."

To my amazement, the old man simply finished his drink, threw some bills on the bar and left without saying a word.

"Damn Liz." I couldn't believe what I'd just seen.

"Oh, that's just old Charley. He's my flunky." she said quite proudly.

"Liz....you ain't doing much to get me all fired up about workin' for you. You're a real bitch." I said matter of factly.

"Well hell, everybody knows that." she grinned. "It's part of my charm."

"Oh yeah...you're a friggin' charmer all right."

She looked around the place.

"Well, what do you think of the place?"

"I've seen worse, not a lot worse but....I've seen worse." I said.

"Yeah...it's pretty rough." she admitted.

"You serve food in this dump?" I asked "I ain't eatin' in here."

She laughed.

"We've got frozen pizzas and those pre-packaged sandwiches." she grinned.

"You do realize you promised me a steak."

"Yes...you picky sumbitch...Patsy's got us a couple of steak dinners ordered from Swain's and they'll be here shortly." she looked pleased with herself. "T-bone...rare...right?"

"That'll work."

Sure enough, less than half an hour later, a guy showed up with the steaks and Patsy directed him to take them to the back of the place. Liz and I followed.

I hadn't noticed the door before but, it led to another room that was obviously the office. A really nice office.

Elizabeth pointed to a small a table and told me to sit down. The delivery guy, opened up the box and set the table with real plates, forks, glasses, condiments, the whole nine yards. I was impressed.

"Some take out dinner." I said.

"Yeah, I don't like that plastic stuff. It ain't dignified to eat off plastic plates. Beside's, Swains don't usually do take out. I know the owner." she said, obviously proud of herself.

She slipped the delivery guy some cash and told him to keep the change. He grinned from ear to ear and said he'd be waiting in the bar till we finished our meal.

I tore into my food with gusto as she picked at hers. She talked the entire time while I grunted occasionally just to let her know I was listening.

During the meal, I learned that she was originally from Georgia, owned several businesses including a wrecker service, courier service, the bar, dozens of rental properties, a real estate agency, a bookie operation and, most proudly, a floating high stakes poker game!

"Quite the little tycoon ain't you?" I joked.

"Nah...I ain't even started yet." she said flatly.

I finished eating, thank her for the meal and got up to move around a bit.

"Where the hell or you going?" she demanded.

"Just stretchin' my legs Ms. Hitler."

"Well, we've got some business to talk over don't we?" she asked.

"Ok.....shoot."

"Do you want to help me turn this place into a joint where decent folks will come for some good music?"

"Sounds real interesting but, I still don't trust you Liz, you've got a mean, bossy way about you and honestly, I don't want to deal with a bunch of your shit." I told her. "I'm just being honest here."

She looked slightly pissed.

"Look, I talked to Bill Freeman today and he told me that you managed his place for over a year and put a killer house band together." she said. "He told me you did a good job for him."

I laughed.

"Damn, that's amazing." I was shocked. "I thought Bill hated my guts."

"He didn't act like it. Why would he?" she asked.

"Because I got fed up with his cheap ass trying to shaft me all the time. He was stalling on paying me five hundred bucks so...One Saturday night, I waited until the place filled up and quit..on the spot. The band left with me. I swear I thought that old sumbitch was going to shoot me!" I explained.

She looked shocked.

"Hell, I would have shot your ass!!" she growled.

"There you go sweet talkin' me out of takin' the job again." I said.

"Oh shit...I'm kiddin'." she grinned. "I'm too old to go to jail."

The office door flew open and Patsy came rushing in.

"David's back Liz and he's headed this way!" she shouted.

"Oh shit!" Liz jumped up.

"Who's David?" I asked.

"He's her husband!" Patsy hissed.

About that time, a very tall guy stormed into the office. He had a slim build, longish brown hair and the ruddy complexion of a man who enjoyed a drink or twenty.

He looked at me.

"Get out, I need to talk to my wife." he snarled.

"Ex wife, you prick!" Elizabeth shouted.

David looked at me again.

"You're still here?"

I looked at Elizabeth and grinned.

"He's sharp as a damned tack ain't he? I'll give him that." I said.

"I told you to get out." he repeated.

"Of course, he does have a limited vocabulary don't he?" I laughed.

Elizabeth spoke up.

"Ron, I don't want any trouble here. You better leave. I'll see you in a minute."

"You sure you're gonna be OK? Ole Ichabod here looks pretty pissed." I asked her.

She laughed.

"I'll be fine...this asshole won't lay a hand on me."

"She's right about that." he said turning to me. "but that don't go for you boy."

I walked towards the door and to within a few feet of him.

"Any time you feel like gettin' a mud hole stomped in your ass Scarecrow..bring it on. I'm a giver." I said giving him my best sneer.

He didn't say a word as I left the room.

Minutes later, he came rushing back through the bar and left.

Elizabeth came to the bar, sat down and motioned for a drink.

Patsy delivered it promptly along with another beer for me.

"What did that asshole want?" she asked.

"Same as usual.....money." she snapped.

"It's none of my business but...you're giving your ex husband money?" I asked.

She smiled sadly.

"Yeah, it's none of your business.....but I'll tell you. That sumbitch has been blackmailing me for two years now." she said. "You don't know a good hit man do you?" she added.

Holy Shit!!

To Be Continued....

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This seems to be shaping up into another twisted and surprising plot. Can't wait to see where this is going.............

8/31/2006 9:20 PM  
Blogger Noel said...

Damn , Ron , another fine mess you got into !

8/31/2006 11:55 PM  
Blogger Goob Two said...

Thanks Ron. It so great to be able to check out talent on the blogs from people I hear from. Because you wrote me, I got the chance to read your blog. You're an awesome writer. You have a great talent for placing people in your environment. If you ever have the time, I'd be interested to know what inspired you to write a blog. It's as good as any screenwriter out here in So. Calif. - which I know might not sound like a compliment... But as a Kentucky girl who finds herself in Orange County, California, it's like a taste of home. Plus you totally hooked me with". “Anything with John Wayne or WITHOUT Alec Baldwin - Susan Surrandon - Babs Streisand - Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt to name just a few morons."

9/05/2006 3:00 AM  

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