Gretchen, The Hell's Angels....And Me. Part VI

Damn it....this story just keeps getting longer as I remember more details so....no more promises as to when I'll finish it but....it won't be too much longer.

I don't think so anyway.

Back To The Story..........

As six o'clock approached, I told Gretchen that I needed to go to my house to shower, change, grab my guitars and get ready to play.

"The good thing about playing for the Angel's is, you don't have to worry much about hygiene or fashion!" she cracked.

She said that she would see me at the club in a little while and reminded me to not mention the whole F.B.I. surveilance thing.

Hell, nobody would believe me anyway!

I lived near my Grandma on James Island in those days and as drove by her house on the way to mine...hunger struck! Young, urgent, I'm gonna die if I don't eat a couple of friggin' chickens NOW hunger!

I turned around in Mrs. Daley's driveway and headed back to my Grandma's house.

As I walked in the back door, I called out to her.

"DRANNY!" (Ain't that cute? As a little kid, I must have watched Tweetie Bird or some such shit because, I always called Granny..."Dranny")

(If Guyk is reading this, he's probably shaking his head and growling......."Charming...just friggin' Charming!")

I walked through the little house and found her standing at the stove.

I had been planning on simply raiding the icebox but, God had indeed smiled upon me! She was cooking country style steak, mashed potato's and gravy! Ah...nectar of the gods.

Oh dear Lord that woman could cook!

Unlike most folks who speak of their Grandma's in glowing terms with warm, fuzzy memories, I'm here to tell you....that little woman was meaner than a striped snake when she was vexed!

(Is "vexed" a strictly Southern word?)

My Dranny is gone now and my Mom HATES it when I mention how mean the old lady could be but...it's true! My Mom has a stinging, ascerbic way about her too but, nothing like Dranny. Mom is a true life, Charleston born and bred "Steel Magnolia" but....she's somewhat delusional in her memories of her Mom...my Dranny now that she's passed away."

The old woman wasn't what you might call, "tender".

I walked into the kitchen and kissed her on the cheek.

"Well....you came to see me so you must be hungry." she spat.

I laughed and kissed her again.

"Dranny, I'm so full I couldn't eat another bite. I just wanted to see you before I go play." I lied.

"Which one of those "whoorehouses" are you playin' at tonight?"

"I quit playin' the "whoorehouses" Dranny, I'm playing at the Senior Center on Sullivan's Island. It's "Tommy Dorsey" night....you oughta go with me.

"You're a damned liar Bubba. You're gonna be out there chasin' split tails and you damned well know it!" she grinned at me.

My poor Dranny had lived her entire life dealing with musicians.

My Grandaddy "Shorty" was a local legend who had died young at the age of sixty. He had a western swing band back in the thirties and actually had the first radio music show in Charleston. He played anything with strings and had a voice like Jim Reeves.

All four of my uncles followed suit and are STILL playing music for a living in the Charleston area except for uncle Bill, my hero, who passed away over twenty years ago. Bill was, without question, the funniest sumbitch I've ever known.

I'm gonna write about my Grandaddy and Uncles someday soon. Plenty of material there!

One of my uncle's, Steve, played with a nationally semi-famous band "The Villagers". They had a weekly TV show back in the mid sixties which was seen in almost every state in the U.S. called, "Village Square".

So.....Dranny was well versed in the musician's lifestyle and there was no bullshittin' her.

Dranny looked me up and down.

"Boy, you look like you ain't et in a week. I guess I'm gon' have to feed you after all." she snarled.

She ordered me to sit down and eat whether I was hungry or not. Of course...I did exactly that!

As I was leaving, I hugged and kissed her on the cheek.

"You make sure you wash that mouth before you come back over here kissing on me! I know what you're gonna be doing tonight!"

She ALWAYS said that.

"Dranny....you wouldn't believe what I was doing before I got here today!" I laughed.

She slapped me in the back of the head.

As I was leaving, my aunt Sue pulled in the driveway behind my car.

I ran up to her car and told her I needed to get out.

"Not until you talk to me young 'in." she snapped.

So....I talked to her awhile during which time, I told her that I was playing for the Hell's Angels that night.

"Oh Dear God!" she shouted. "I've heard about them." she gasped.

Just then, my uncle Cleve who lived across the street came strolling up.

Cleve was and still is a world class guitar player in the mold of Clapton and George Benson. He was playing somewhere tonight too.

"Has Mama got supper ready yet?" he asked.

"Yep and it's good!" I said.

"Did you leave any for me?" he snapped.

"Not a morsel." I said.

He grinned and shook his head.

"Mama wouldn't do that to me." he grinned. "Where're you playing tonight?"

I told him.

"Damn Bo....you lost your damned mind?" he asked.

I told him what had happened and he just shook his head and walked away.

He turned as he got to the back door.

"Bo...I would tell you that you shouldn't let a piece of ass get you into that kind of situation but...who the hell am I to say THAT?"

He was still shaking his head and chuckling to himself as he disappeared in the house.

I kissed my aunt goodbye and waited till she moved her car.

I was pulling out of the driveway when she flagged me down.

"Bubba...you be careful around them Hell people." she said.

"It's Hell's Angels, aunt Sue" I corrected her.

"I KNOW what it is you little shit but anybody who says those two words in the same sentence is goin' to HELL." she snapped and stormed away.

She was 4'10" and a sack of hell...I wasn't going to argue with her! The little munchin still threatened to spank me occasionally and meant it!

I rushed to my house, got ready and was pulling into the parking lot of The Office Lounge at just before eight o'clock. My band mates were waiting outside.

I walked up to them and asked them why they hadn't gone inside yet.

"Hey dude...you got us into this shit. We'll be right behind you!" Tony said.

Mike, the bass player was the quiet one in the band. He rarely spoke at all but he piped up.

"Ron, are you sure about this? Those guys look mean." he said.

"Of course they do Mikey...it's part of their deal. It's what they do. Hell, you wouldn't expect 'em to look like Mr. Friggin' Rogers would you? Don't sweat it....we'll be ok."

I went to the door just as it opened.

Standing there was a guy I hadn't seen before.

He stood about 5'5" or so and couldn't have weighed more than 125 with rocks in his pockets. His dirty blonde hair hung below his shoulders and had the scraggliest beard on the planet.

(Is "scraggliest" a word? Oh well...it is in the south.)

"Who the fuck are you?" he demanded.

I laughed and, like the smart ass I am said.

"Well good evening to you too sir."

His expression never changed as he waited for the proper response from me.

"We're the band...Gino hired us to play here tonight." I said respectfully this time.

Well hell, you'de have thought I'd had said "Abra Cadabra" because his demeanor changed immediately and he ushered us to the bar where a BIG woman was seated.

She looked like someone had shaved a friggin' ape and put a sleevless black vest on it.

Dear God she was ugly.

As we reached the bar, the little guy turned around, gave me the biker bro handshake and introduced himself.

"I'm 'Gulch' ". he said with a straight face.

"I'm Ron." I said and introduced the other guys to 'Gulch' and gorilla woman.

"I'm 'Big Wanda' " she said with a friendly smile.

"Ok boys, here's the deal. While you are on the premesis, you have total sanctuary so don't worry, no one can fuck with ya'll here." she stated.

"Well hell....I can dig that." Tony said as he went miraculously from a frightened poodle to a relaxed Labrador.

She gave him a look that could wither steel.

"The operative word you need to remember is "HERE"...what happens out there..." she pointed to the door. "Is YOUR problem so.... I wouldn't piss anybody off if I was you."

"Yes Ma'am" we said, in UNISON.

Gulch chimed in with more helpful advice.

"Bro's, do ya'lls self a favor and don't fuck around with the women. Just play your music and....have fun." he snarled.

"Yes Sir" we said....again...in UNISON.

'Gulch' made Charles Manson look like Beaver freakin' Cleaver. I don't know if it was a well practiced act he was putting on but, if it was, he was a world class thesbian.

Big Wanda continued.

"Anything you boys want is on the house tonight and....here's your money." she said handing me an envelope. "You can count it if you like." she added.

I thought about it for a split second.

"It would probably piss you off if I did....wouldn't it?" I asked.

"Big time." she said without a hint of humor.

I told her that we normally got paid at the end of the night.

"Honey...there ain't no 'end of the night' around here." she laughed.

"Well, when do we quit playing?" I asked, obviously concerned.

"I guess when Gino says he's ready for ya'll to quit." she said seriously.

"Well I'll talk to him about when he gets here."

She looked at me, laughed out loud, reached out and patted my cheek none-to-gently.

"Yeah baby...you talk to Gino."

Well, we went through the sound check and everything sounded good...great actually. The room had great accoustics and the "patrons" were getting into the warm up stuff we were playing but, each time we stopped in the middle of something for a tweak here and there, you would have thought we'd kicked over a Harley or something!

Damn....this could be a LONG night!

After a bit....a roar filled the building and I knew it was either a jumbo jet crashing into the place or 16,000 Harley's pulling into the parking lot.

Sure enough, shortly thereafter, the combined casts of Hell's Angels on Wheels, The Wild One and Chopper Chicks in Zombietown came piling into the place.

Holy shit, the joint filled up quick!

Immediatly, I spotted Gino. Hell, I'd have had to have been blind not to spot him. That big sumbitch could block out the sun!

I started towards him but he waved me back and held up a finger as if to say, "wait a minute". So...of course...I stayed put.

He finished his conversation with Big Wanda and Gulch and ambled over to where I stood talking with the guys.

"What's up bro?" he asked.

Without waiting for a reply he said.

"Big Wanda says you boys got a problem with the deal."

"Not really, it's just that we don't know what the deal IS." I said.

"It's simple bro....I pay, you play." he sneered at me.

"Well hell, I know that but for how long? We normally knock off at two a.m.....anything after that is extra." I told him.

He laughed and slapped me on the back.

"No fuckin' problem litte dude. We're gonna have some fun tonight and, if anyone fucks with you, you let old Gino know." he roared.

Damn it. I didn't like being called 'little dude'. Hell, I'm 6'2" and, at that time, weighed around 225 or so. Not exactly little. So.....I braced myself and stated flatly...

"You got it big guy."

What? You been reading my shit this long and you expected me to get all Charles Bronson on that friggin' behemoth?

Yeah....when donkey's fly.

Anyway.......

Gino asked me if I'd seen Gretchen.

Oh shit....that big sumbitch had a way of keeping you off guard! Nice and easy one minute....menacing the next.

Knowing what Gretchen had told me about him spying on her, I figured that I may as well tell him the truth.

"Yeah I went out to the house to see her after I left here."

I must admit, I was a bit trepidacious (isn't that the French word for scared shitless?) at having to cop to the truth but...I figured lying was more dangerous at this point.

He was obviously not accustomed to having his advice ignored and it showed.

He just shook his head sadly.

"Your funeral bro." was all he said as he walked away.

Gulch came up and asked us when we were gonna start playing.

"How 'bout thirty minutes?" I asked.

"Ok...I'll let 'em know. Turn on the microphones" he ordered.

We did as commanded. He got up on the stage and grabbed a mic.

"Ok boys and girls...welcome to Gretchen's birthday party!" he roared.

The crowd went wild.

"These boys here are called 'Chrystal River' and Gino says they kick ass." he pointed to us.

Again, the crowd went wild.

"The motherfuckers BETTER be!" he added.

Yet another thunderous reaction.

Tony leaned close to me.

"I hope we're as good as Gino thinks we are."

"Shit, just make sure it's LOUD." I said.

To Be Continued..........later tonight.

Gotta go do some stuff for She Who Must Be Adored!