My Adventures In 'Smug Druggling' Part II

Side Note: It has come to my attention that in the telling of this tale, I have referred to ‘Joey’ AND ‘Butch’….sorry, I didn’t mean to confuse anyone but, they are one in the same guy.! His real name was Joey but, I usually called him ‘Butch’.

He was nicknamed ‘Butch’ because when he was a kid, he had accidentally cut off the tip of his left little finger with a butcher’s knife…..go figure.

Anyway....

The Story Continues.....

As we approached the dock slowly, Butch began to get squirrelly.

“Man, what if these guys are armed?” He asked.

“Chill out Butch…why the hell would they wanna hurt us?” I laughed. “Hell, they’ve got the dope….all we’ve got is this piece of shit truck of yours.”

“Yeah…good point.” He laughed. “Dat ain’t much of a deal is it?”

He parked in front of the dock. We got out and walked together down the narrow wooden gang plank.

As we got to within twenty feet of the boat, a voice called out in a hushed tone.

“Who’s there?”

“I’m Butch.” He answered.

“Come on over.” The voice ordered.

We walked up to the boat and saw that there were four Hispanic looking guys on deck.

The closest one spoke again.

“Who sent you?” He demanded.

“I was told to say that that’s none of your fuckin’ business Javier.” Butch said nervously.

The guy laughed and offered his hand to us. We shook hands all around and then Javier began ordering his guys to get busy unloading the boat.

We helped them and it took less than ten minutes to accomplish the task. During the offload however, I was startled at how many small packages there were. These obviously contained coke and all I could think of was the prison term which accompanied the crime of smuggling THAT much coke.

We covered the cargo with the roofing materials, ladders and junk.

Javier told us to get going and believe me…he didn’t have to tell us twice!

We climbed into the truck and took off back down the road.

“Fuckin’A dude!!” Butch exclaimed loudly. “We DID IT MAN!!”

“Butch..it ain’t over yet! Let’s don’t get all smug yet! Just get us out of here and back home.” I growled. “We’ll celebrate when this shit is picked up and GONE!”

“I ain’t bein’ ‘smug’ dude but how many times have you druggled a truck load of smugs?” He asked.

I thought about what he’d said.

“Druggled?.... Smugs?” I asked and he laughed.

“Yeah, I guess I screwed that up but…you know what I mean.” He said.

I started to respond when I looked down the road and saw a flash of light in the middle of the road only a few hundred yards away.

“What the hell is that in the road?” I asked.

Butch had seen it as well and slowed down to a walking pace.

“I don’t know man but it don’t belong there.” Butch said.

“Pull over Butch!!” I almost shouted. “Get off the road!”

“Get off WHERE?” He asked.

He had a good point because, for those of you who have never traveled down a back water low country road, there ain’t no ‘off road’! There is ‘on the road’ and then there is ‘sink in a friggin’ bog up to your windows in some incredibly NASTY black water and primordial ooze’ but...there ain't no 'off road' "!

There is rarely any middle ground.

No pun intended.

“Well….just stop.” I suggested.

“Yeah…I guess so.” He said, not totally convinced.

Butch allowed the truck to roll to a stop without hitting the brakes. He then reached up and popped the cover off of the dome light. Within seconds, he removed the bulb and opened his door.

“Where the hell are you goin’?” I asked.

“I’m getting’ out of the fuckin’ truck!” He hissed. “Do you wanna get caught with all that shit in the back?” He asked.

Believe it or not, I laughed.

I couldn’t help myself. I’m sure it was a form of gallows humor that infected me but I began laughing my ass off.

“What the hell is so damned funny?” Butch demanded.

“Good Lord Butch! This truck is in your name and other than Kelly Brown we’re the only two people within miles and oh yeah….it’s damned near dawn!” I explained. “If that’s a cop…we’re screwed!”

He slumped against the truck.

“Yeah, I guess we’re busted.” He moaned.

Just then I noticed that the shape in the road ahead moved!

Slowly, I began to realize what I was looking at.

“Butch…that’s the biggest buck I’ve ever seen in my life.” I exclaimed.

He looked down the road and started laughing.

“Damn if that ain’t a big ‘un dude.” He said. “Sure wish I had my rifle.”

The deer was HUGE! It had a rack that seemed to be almost as wide as the dirt road ahead and he looked to be eight feet tall.

“Let’s go.” I said. “Drive up to him and he’ll go away. Let’s get going!”

“Yeah, I’d like to see him up close!” He snapped as he climbed behind the wheel.

He put the truck into gear and crept closer to the beast. As we got within thirty yards or so Butch turned on the parking lights and we got a good look at the monster.

He was definately enourmous!!

Apparently, gargantuan bucks DO NOT appreciate parking lights because it came charging at us like a ticked off middle line backer with antlers!

Before we could react, that big sumbitch took a huge leap.

The windshield exploded!!

We didn’t even have time to scream like a couple of junior Girl Scouts, as the cab of the truck was filled with front part of an enraged DEER!

We had only been traveling at a speed of less than ten mph but the deer must have been doing thirty five mph when it hit us and it sounded like a damned grenade had gone off inside the cab!

I learned quickly that you DO NOT want to be in the cab of a pick up truck with a pissed off buck.

Even if it’s only the front part of a pissed off buck!

Dear Lord!

I can still hear the sounds of panic. Loud gasps, frantic wailing, an almost other wordly shrieking and, above all a strange 'sobbing' sound.

Of course....that was just ME!

Butch and the buck were REALLY loud!!

Butch and I bailed out of the still rolling truck. After I rolled a few times, I staggered to my feet. I looked over at Butch and he was just coming to his feet as well.

To our horror, we watched the truck as it veered off the dirt road and into the black swampy water.

We were still watching when the truck began to sink into the water. It settled to a point where we couldn’t see the bed at all but the cab was still partially visible.

Suddenly, the frantic deer finally pulled itself out of the windshield and bounded off as though it was chasing after friggin’ Bambi.

That crazy assed buck was looking as carefree as could be as it dashed away and there we were with a half submerged pick up truck full of drugs in the middle of a freakin’ swamp!!

I looked at Butch and he looked at me. Several moments passed until he spoke in a mocking, sing song tone of voice.

"Oh yeah!! 'Drive up to him and he'll just go away' he says!" He mocked me.

I thought for a second and started laughing.

"Well....the sumbitch ain't here anymore is he?"

"Fuck you Ron!" He snarled.

To Be Continued Tomorrow....sorry but I can't sit in this damned chair any longer!!

The knee is killing me!

Tune in next time as the Highway Patrol helps us rescue our truck!

No shit!!