The Getaway Weekend That Got Away
First of all, thank ya’ll for the kind comments left on my last post. I appreciate it.
As luck would have it, my plans to go to the lake were disrupted by God. HE, in his infinite wisdom, decided that he needed to make it rain ‘bow wow’s and meow’s’ all across western North Carolina for the entire weekend so….we never made it to the lake.
Instead, we went to Lowe’s! Yep…you heard me right. We went to the newest giant Lowe’s Home Improvement Store in the nation in Banner Elk. Hey, don’t blame me…I asked Michelle what she wanted to do and, she said, “Let’s go to the new Lowe’s" so….that’s exactly where we went!
Thankfully, it wasn’t too crowded. I really don’t understand how we rate a giant Lowe’s in a town which has a permanent residency of less than 900 people but, we have a summer residency of more that 25000 or so and a two county total of over three or four thousand. I suppose they justify it because a ton of wealthy folks are building homes so fast that the mountains are disappearing up here. Don Shula, Dan Marino, Wayne Huizenga, Pat Summerall, Nascar superstars out the wazoo and other assorted well known rich folks are flooding the area. So…I guess they are certain to turn a profit but…most of us are just plain old folks.
Michelle was in the mood to peruse and carefully examine every single item in the place.
We looked at $3000.00 refrigerators which, even if I won the friggin’ lottery TWICE I wouldn’t purchase. Hell, I couldn’t sleep if I paid that much for a damned icebox!
We looked at hardwood flooring which, if we bought, we would have to buy twice as much as the square footage demanded because I’m a home improvement moron! I would absolutely RUIN a great deal of the flooring in the process of installing it but, my little angel has faith in me! She really believes I could do it! Bless her little innocent heart.
There’s a reason she believes this.
Five years ago, I decided that our master bath needed a window. I bought a reciprocating saw and hacked a hole in the logs and bought a window which, to my everlasting friggin’ astonishment fit PERFECTLY in the hole I had created. It worked perfectly….damn it!!
She now believes that I can do anything I put my mind to!
She’s beautiful and I adore her but….she’s wrong! I’m a moron.
She conveniently forgets the time that I hooked up our generator wrong and blew up every single electrical appliance in the house!
Somehow, she doesn’t accept the fact that I’ve never cut a straight line in my life.
Forgotten is the hideous job I did of putting a ceiling in our garage.
Seriously, I can read minds better than I can read a friggin’ tape measure!! It’s really quite sad. I’m like Rain Man after a frontal lobotomy!
Banished from her recollection is the time I tried to cut molding and had to make four trips to the building supply store as I constantly cut the wrong angles over and over and over again!
Yep….she’s an optimist and, with no facts to buttress her opinion, she believes in me!! What a dreamer!!
Well, after an exhaustive search for something we could not live without, we purchased new shower heads for the two upstairs bathrooms and a table saw.
Yep…I said a TABLE SAW! This is pretty much a guarantee that I will NOT be blogging much anymore. Not because I’ll be too busy building stuff around here with my new table saw but rather because it will be difficult, I’m sure, to type as well using only one hand, or seven fingers, which ever I lose first!
Anyway…..we finally left Lowe’s.
We were hungry so, we went through the standard conversation for those of us who live in a small town. We went through the list of places to eat faster than Michael Moore could run through a list of facts found in his movies.
We settled on a new Mexican restaurant on Jonas Ridge.
We walked into the place and the first thing I noticed was that it was hotter than the gates of HELL in the damned place! Apparently, these border crossin’ fuckers were striving to recreate the climate of Mexico in August!
Dear Lord it was hot but, the food was great.
Afterwards, we spent the rest of the rainy weekend just hanging out and watching football. The Gamecocks and Panthers both won.
Oh, well, that was our weekend. I hope ya’ll had a good one too.
More “Carl’s Corner” sometime today.
As luck would have it, my plans to go to the lake were disrupted by God. HE, in his infinite wisdom, decided that he needed to make it rain ‘bow wow’s and meow’s’ all across western North Carolina for the entire weekend so….we never made it to the lake.
Instead, we went to Lowe’s! Yep…you heard me right. We went to the newest giant Lowe’s Home Improvement Store in the nation in Banner Elk. Hey, don’t blame me…I asked Michelle what she wanted to do and, she said, “Let’s go to the new Lowe’s" so….that’s exactly where we went!
Thankfully, it wasn’t too crowded. I really don’t understand how we rate a giant Lowe’s in a town which has a permanent residency of less than 900 people but, we have a summer residency of more that 25000 or so and a two county total of over three or four thousand. I suppose they justify it because a ton of wealthy folks are building homes so fast that the mountains are disappearing up here. Don Shula, Dan Marino, Wayne Huizenga, Pat Summerall, Nascar superstars out the wazoo and other assorted well known rich folks are flooding the area. So…I guess they are certain to turn a profit but…most of us are just plain old folks.
Michelle was in the mood to peruse and carefully examine every single item in the place.
We looked at $3000.00 refrigerators which, even if I won the friggin’ lottery TWICE I wouldn’t purchase. Hell, I couldn’t sleep if I paid that much for a damned icebox!
We looked at hardwood flooring which, if we bought, we would have to buy twice as much as the square footage demanded because I’m a home improvement moron! I would absolutely RUIN a great deal of the flooring in the process of installing it but, my little angel has faith in me! She really believes I could do it! Bless her little innocent heart.
There’s a reason she believes this.
Five years ago, I decided that our master bath needed a window. I bought a reciprocating saw and hacked a hole in the logs and bought a window which, to my everlasting friggin’ astonishment fit PERFECTLY in the hole I had created. It worked perfectly….damn it!!
She now believes that I can do anything I put my mind to!
She’s beautiful and I adore her but….she’s wrong! I’m a moron.
She conveniently forgets the time that I hooked up our generator wrong and blew up every single electrical appliance in the house!
Somehow, she doesn’t accept the fact that I’ve never cut a straight line in my life.
Forgotten is the hideous job I did of putting a ceiling in our garage.
Seriously, I can read minds better than I can read a friggin’ tape measure!! It’s really quite sad. I’m like Rain Man after a frontal lobotomy!
Banished from her recollection is the time I tried to cut molding and had to make four trips to the building supply store as I constantly cut the wrong angles over and over and over again!
Yep….she’s an optimist and, with no facts to buttress her opinion, she believes in me!! What a dreamer!!
Well, after an exhaustive search for something we could not live without, we purchased new shower heads for the two upstairs bathrooms and a table saw.
Yep…I said a TABLE SAW! This is pretty much a guarantee that I will NOT be blogging much anymore. Not because I’ll be too busy building stuff around here with my new table saw but rather because it will be difficult, I’m sure, to type as well using only one hand, or seven fingers, which ever I lose first!
Anyway…..we finally left Lowe’s.
We were hungry so, we went through the standard conversation for those of us who live in a small town. We went through the list of places to eat faster than Michael Moore could run through a list of facts found in his movies.
We settled on a new Mexican restaurant on Jonas Ridge.
We walked into the place and the first thing I noticed was that it was hotter than the gates of HELL in the damned place! Apparently, these border crossin’ fuckers were striving to recreate the climate of Mexico in August!
Dear Lord it was hot but, the food was great.
Afterwards, we spent the rest of the rainy weekend just hanging out and watching football. The Gamecocks and Panthers both won.
Oh, well, that was our weekend. I hope ya’ll had a good one too.
More “Carl’s Corner” sometime today.
posted by Rantin' Ron | 8:03 AM
8 Comments:
A story...My son has been working with wood since he was about 14, used every known power tool, worked as a house builder, cabinet maker and such for over 25 years...
and two months ago cut two fingers clean off on a table saw.
He had them re-attached with artifical joints and they will have to do three more operations before they "think" they might work.
He is considering just having them take off the hardware and just live life without the two fingers.
He says that the pain is just not worth it, I told him to hang in there if possible, he's not sure he will.
Otherwise, have fun with your new table saw.
Papa Ray
West Texas
USA
MMmmmmmm I LOVE MEXICAN FOOD
Love it.
I joined Weight Watchers recently, and the first cookbook I bought was called 'Simply Bueno'- it's all mexican. So far, it's got some good recipes in it.
As for Lowe's? I hate that store in the same way I hate Godiva Clam Shell chocolate- so damn good I can't keep away.
If my husband ever dies, I'm getting a job at Lowe's! Between all the construction workers with accounts and my being able to buy house goodies at a discount? Life just doesn't get much better. :)
Ya'll are a hoot! PapaRay..thanks alot dude, that table saw is gonna be collecting some MAJOR dust now!!
Lowes never got over having to close their Sparta store. They lost out to a local building supplier called Blevins. I guess they figure he won't build a place way the hell out there.
Tell Michelle I can relate; Harry keeps telling me he can't possibly perform the home improvement projects I keep planning. My solution? Well, when I wanted the kitchen redone, I emptied all the cabinets, took all the doors off and announced that there would be no meals cooked until the kitchen was done. I moved the bathroom into the living room, took everything apart and announced that all bathroom activities would have to performed at my mother in law's. Needless to say, both projects turned out fine and we finished in record time....
Rocky..I love you and, I feel for Harry. If you think I'm gonna relate your tactics to Michelle..you are NUTS!
That's downright diabolical!
Smart and effective but...sinister! LOL.
You wouldn't believe what I have gotten away with over the years! LOL
Actually...I think I can imagine!! You're bad! LOL!
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