Being An Old Football Player SUCKS!!
One fine spring day back "in the day", I was playing in a pick up football game. I was really kickin' ass and takin' names as they say. As I came off the field, I was greeted by my girlfriend who had been cheering me on (ah, young love) and a local legend....Coach Leonard Shealy. Mr. Shealy congratulated me and said, and I quote...
"Hoss, you've got all the tools to be a GREAT futtball player (that's how he pronounced 'football'). You show up for practice Monday and I'll get you started."
Well, to make a long story short...he got me started alright. The old bastard got me started breaking or dislocating almost every appendage I possess!
Every morning I stumble out of bed, evaluate which knee will support me that particular day, limp to the bathroom and replay the same refrain in my head, over and over again.
"I want to find and KILL Coach Shealy!"
Hell, I never really even liked playing football all that much. I preferred and was actually better at basketball but, where I grew up, Columbia, S.C., football was KING and besides.....chicks LOVED football players.
The truly pathetic thing is that I still have dreams of scoring touchdowns, making tackles, launching booming punts and kicking long field goals to win the game. I really was pretty good in my day and enjoyed a small degree of local celebrity and clippings but I swear I would trade every bit of the so-called past "glory" for the ability to get out of bed or out of a chair and just WALK without wondering what's going to hurt like hell.
The sad part of all this is that I played football for the same reason I learned to play the guitar.....girls!
Hell, I don't know which has taken a bigger toll on my life, women or football. Well, at least I can say that women only left me broke, not BROKEN! I have to admit however, in both cases, the damage was largely self inflicted so all there is to do about it is... "Man UP"!! Right Teresa? LOL.
Ok, I'm done whining for now...time to hobble upstairs and score some Tylenol.
"Hoss, you've got all the tools to be a GREAT futtball player (that's how he pronounced 'football'). You show up for practice Monday and I'll get you started."
Well, to make a long story short...he got me started alright. The old bastard got me started breaking or dislocating almost every appendage I possess!
Every morning I stumble out of bed, evaluate which knee will support me that particular day, limp to the bathroom and replay the same refrain in my head, over and over again.
"I want to find and KILL Coach Shealy!"
Hell, I never really even liked playing football all that much. I preferred and was actually better at basketball but, where I grew up, Columbia, S.C., football was KING and besides.....chicks LOVED football players.
The truly pathetic thing is that I still have dreams of scoring touchdowns, making tackles, launching booming punts and kicking long field goals to win the game. I really was pretty good in my day and enjoyed a small degree of local celebrity and clippings but I swear I would trade every bit of the so-called past "glory" for the ability to get out of bed or out of a chair and just WALK without wondering what's going to hurt like hell.
The sad part of all this is that I played football for the same reason I learned to play the guitar.....girls!
Hell, I don't know which has taken a bigger toll on my life, women or football. Well, at least I can say that women only left me broke, not BROKEN! I have to admit however, in both cases, the damage was largely self inflicted so all there is to do about it is... "Man UP"!! Right Teresa? LOL.
Ok, I'm done whining for now...time to hobble upstairs and score some Tylenol.
posted by Rantin' Ron | 12:47 PM
2 Comments:
The older we get, the more we pay for the sins of our youth. We're about the same age...early 50's...so I know something about stumbling and crawling out of bed. BUT I bet if you were that same kid in Columbia and Coach Shealy said, "Hoss, get out on that futtball field" you'd do it all over again. Hey, guess what? I'm gonna be in Columbia tomorrow. Actually we're staying in Florence but we'll pass through Columbia. Then it's on to Bald Head Island for a week of rest - no traffic, no computers, no cooking or cleaning. That means Keeper better be the keeper of the comments while I'm gone. "See" you in a week.
Teresa...have a great trip to SC. While I was born and raised in Charleston and Columbia..I can no longer stand the "Africa" heat and humidity. Be safe and stay cool.
Keeper...didn't you tell me you were almost 70yrs old? Lord you shame me!! Going water skiing! You and my wife would get along great. Ya'll are both tougher than me!
We have a little place on Lake James in Marion, NC and I'm still sore from skiing LAST weekend..don't know if I'm even gonna try this weekend.
Take care and God Bless ladies.
Take care of yourself.
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