Going To The Lake

Michelle, our adorable little Cocker Spaniel, Molly and I are heading down off the mountain to our little place on Lake James this weekend. It's supposed to be hotter than the gates of Hell down there but..."she who must be obeyed" has made up our minds and we're going! Hopefully, we'll spend alot of time out on the lake so, it shouldn't be too bad as long as I can swim around a bit with Michelle and Molly. Last weekend, Michelle went swimming in a lake for the very first time EVER! She said she was tired of watching the rest of us having fun so, I put a ski vest on her. She was still terrified but she sucked it up and went in anyway and absolutely loved it. It's amazing how many folks who were raised in the mountains never learned how to swim. Understandable actually because the only lake nearby is Watauga Lake in Butler, Tn which is fed by mountain streams mostly and is usually colder than an ex-wifes heart year round. The temperature rarely gets over 85 or so here in the summer and there are very few swimming pools except a few of the indoor variety at some of the tourist spots so, a lot of folks just never learned. While I am proud of Michelle for wanting to learn, I hope she doesn't decide to take up skydiving or some such crazy thing! While I love the water, I'm scared to death of HEIGHTS!
I hope ya'll have a GREAT WEEKEND.

Read more!

Being An Old Football Player SUCKS!!

One fine spring day back "in the day", I was playing in a pick up football game. I was really kickin' ass and takin' names as they say. As I came off the field, I was greeted by my girlfriend who had been cheering me on (ah, young love) and a local legend....Coach Leonard Shealy. Mr. Shealy congratulated me and said, and I quote...
"Hoss, you've got all the tools to be a GREAT futtball player (that's how he pronounced 'football'). You show up for practice Monday and I'll get you started."
Well, to make a long story short...he got me started alright. The old bastard got me started breaking or dislocating almost every appendage I possess!
Every morning I stumble out of bed, evaluate which knee will support me that particular day, limp to the bathroom and replay the same refrain in my head, over and over again.
"I want to find and KILL Coach Shealy!"
Hell, I never really even liked playing football all that much. I preferred and was actually better at basketball but, where I grew up, Columbia, S.C., football was KING and besides.....chicks LOVED football players.
The truly pathetic thing is that I still have dreams of scoring touchdowns, making tackles, launching booming punts and kicking long field goals to win the game. I really was pretty good in my day and enjoyed a small degree of local celebrity and clippings but I swear I would trade every bit of the so-called past "glory" for the ability to get out of bed or out of a chair and just WALK without wondering what's going to hurt like hell.
The sad part of all this is that I played football for the same reason I learned to play the guitar.....girls!
Hell, I don't know which has taken a bigger toll on my life, women or football. Well, at least I can say that women only left me broke, not BROKEN! I have to admit however, in both cases, the damage was largely self inflicted so all there is to do about it is... "Man UP"!! Right Teresa? LOL.
Ok, I'm done whining for now...time to hobble upstairs and score some Tylenol.

Read more!

Random Thoughts

1) According to the "enlightened" among us..(Liberals), we cannot offer an opposing opinion towards drug addicts, women who want abortions, people of different races, immigrants, homeless people, criminals and crazy people because we haven't "walked a mile in their shoes". According to THEM, we shouldn't even venture an opinion unless we have "shared" their experiences.

Why the hell can't the Liberals and the "old guard media" accept the testimony and pro Iraq war opinions of the soldiers who are actually serving over there?

2) Ok.....stick with me here.

"Common" concensus states that girls mature much earlier than boys. Right? We've all been told that. It's what WE as a society have been told forever.

IF this is the case then answer me this...

Why is it that a female teacher of say....twenty eight years old can have sex with a fourteen year old boy and get a suspended sentence or house arrest while a twenty eight year old man gets sentenced to prison for twenty years for having sex with a fourteen year old girl?

Isn't the BOY more immature than the supposedly more advanced GIRL?

In both cases, the kids aren't complaining...they, in almost every case I've read about, consented to the sexual advances of their teachers.

I'm not condoning either of them but damn it, the punishment should be equal.

Don't get me wrong, I would have LOVED to have been "raped" by Mrs. Ba***le back in the ninth grade but had she done so...her gorgeous, well shaped ass should have been sent to freakin' prison just as fast as some balding, "couldn't get laid in a whore house", perverted Social Studies teacher wierdo!!!

3) Liberals love to claim a "Woman's Right To Choose". O.K....let's grant that. A woman can decide whether or not to carry a child to birth without any input from the father of the.....nonviable tissue mass. They claim, and the courts have reinforced that a man should have absolutely NO "choice" in the matter. Right?

Then why in the hell should a guy who DOES NOT WANT TO BE A FATHER have to pay child support when "I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR" decides to give birth to the nonviable tissue mass?

I've heard the feminist's state: "Well, he's paying the price for having sex."

Are they saying that women are too ignorant to realize that sex can and often DOES lead to pregnancy but men are smarter so they should be punished for taking advantage of stupid women?

Is it fair to have it both ways?

Just Asking.

4) Why the hell does ANYONE listen to a freakin' thing that Al Gore has to say? The man is a blithering idiot in the classic sense of the word.

It took me an hour to convince a new employee (a recent college graduate) that Al Gore didn't REALLY invent the freakin' Internet!! I swear by all that I hold dear that I'm NOT making this up! The dumb little bastard argued with me for an hour till I and a half dozen other folks finally convinced him.

College professors have taken their misinformation duties quite seriously. It's up to us to "re-indoctrinate" these young morons.

More to follow.

Read more!