Rons Rants

A Blog Is A Self-Inflicted Invasion Of Privacy

Location: Newland, North Carolina, United States

I'm a fifty two year old happily married man who doesn't really like many people which is why I live on the top of a mountain.

Saturday, July 29, 2006


I was going through some old lyric sheets today looking to re-learn some songs I haven't played in a long time. I found one hand written sheet with the lyrics to "Lyin' Eyes" by the Eagles and on it, I had written a note to myself back in 1978. The note said, "Don't forget the Tego Bay ego trip!"

It took me about ten seconds to remember the experience. It's not easy to forget feeling like a moron.

Here's the story:

I was living in Charleston, S.C. at the time and was playing a solo gig at a great little bar called Tego Bay a couple of nights a week. The rest of the week I played with a pretty popular regional band called Crystal River. I was the lead singer and rhythm guitar player for the band and, as they say....I thought I was "The Shit".

The band consisted of some really great musicians and harmony singers but I was the one who pretty much sang lead on all the songs. I didn't like that much because I've ALWAYS preferred singing harmony to lead was what it was so....I sang lead.

Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVED the attention and the accolades BUT...I've never had a really durable voice. I tended to "push" it a little too hard, "growl" a bit too much on the old "whisky rock and roll" stuff and, as a result, the old vocal cords tended to give out on me as the night wore on. Sometimes, as 2:00 a.m. approached, I had as much control of my voice as a newborn puppy has of it's bladder!

To make a long story short...(yeah, like I can actually DO that), I got straddled on the proverbial high horse one night and announced to my fellow band members that, unless they started singing more songs, I was going to demand a bigger cut of the financial pie or walk. Keep in mind, I WAS singing lead on about 90 percent of between 30 to 40 tunes EVERY freakin' night and was hoarse as hell all the time. In any case, I really wasn't trying to be a jerk but almost any ONE of those other guys could have "taken up the slack" a bit but....they refused to. Period. End of discussion.

Well...I got ticked off and started taking solo gigs from a local agent in town and began backing out of the band gigs a couple of nights a week because I could do more "mellow" stuff in small bars. It was a LOT easier on the voice, better for my ego, better for my love life and paid a LOT better! No five way split at the end of the night.

Then came that night at Tego Bay.... (reminds me of the line from the movie "Airplane!" where the guy's talking about "that mission" over "Nacho Grande")

That night, I was ON. I was James Taylorin', Gordon Lightfootin' and Eaglin' the hell out of 'em!

As I finished a song at the end of the first set, this really nice looking young woman sauntered up to the stage and handed me a twenty dollar bill. Even now, that's a good tip....back then it was almost unheard of.

She leaned in close and said, "Could you please play Lyin' Eyes?"

I said, "Actually, I just played that one about six songs ago but I'll be happy to do it again next set."

She told me that would be fine so, I took about a half hour break, had a drink, "burned one" out in the parking lot and went back in to play the second set.

I told the audience that a pretty lady had tipped me very nicely to play Lyin' Eyes again so, I was going to play it again. Which of course...I did.

During the song, I could see this girl and her boyfriend/husband/significant other or just plain friend..I don't know, looking and listening intently to my rendition of the Eagles tune.

After I'd finished, I got a nice round of applause and continued the remainder of the set.

Once again, towards the end of THAT set, the same girl came up and did the same damned thing! Twenty bucks and a request for Lyin' freakin' Eyes. I was, to say the least, flabbergasted. I was thinking that maybe, the next time I went into the recording studio, I should cut MY own version of Lyin' Eyes. Who knows? Maybe MY rendition of it was SO damned great, it would leap off the shelves if I put it out there!

Sure enough, after my break, I told the audience that, AGAIN, a very pretty lady had requested Lyin' Eyes AGAIN and that I was going to play it AGAIN. Which, of course, I did.

I remember thinking, "Who the hell needs a damned band? I'm KILLING 'em all by myself!"

Halfway through the song, I'm into the chorus singing the line, "and your smile is a thin disguise" when, all of the sudden, the big tipper slapped the table and screamed, "You owe me a hundred bucks Frank! He said it's a THIN disguise NOT a TIN disguise"!!

I was paid forty bucks by a good looking, obviously wealthy young woman to learn a valuable lesson.....

"Ego" SHOULD be a four letter word.

I've never forgotten that.

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Baby It's COLD outside!

While the entire nation is going through a hellish heat wave, I'm sitting here at my computer freezing my rather ample ASS OFF! It's 66 degrees and it's either rained or misted all day long. At 3800 ft above sea level, it rarely gets above 86 degrees but we could use a little warmth right about now!

Yesterday it was 80 or so and as humid as gets in these parts until around 7:30 or so then it rained like crazy for about an hour and it cooled down to around 60. It's alot like living in Wales or so my British brother in law tells me.

Gotta go for now.

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Friday, July 28, 2006

Voting Rights

I believe that the right to vote is the cornerstone of our Representative Republic. To those who may not be aware of the fact that America is NOT a Democracy but a Representative Republic, you may leave now because you are a moron.

In America, each individual DOES NOT have an individual vote in Congress. If we did, America would be a true Democracy which, of course, we are not. We are a Representative Republic because we vote for people who supposedly represent our collective desires as to how the government should be run.

Having said that, I firmly believe that all Americans should be allowed to vote in our Representative Republic. HOWEVER, I believe that there should be Four requirments BEFORE a citizen is allowed to exercise this right.

1) I believe there SHOULD be a written test. If you are too stupid to read and write, you are too stupid to vote for the leadership of this country! Period.

I believe the test should include very basic questions such as...

a) Who are your state's Senators?
b) Who is your Congress person?
c) Do you speak English? If so...prove it.
d) What is your state capitol?
e) What is the nation's capitol?

That's not too much to ask is it? I think not. (These simplistic questions could be varied from time to time to prevent Liberals from coaching their mindless drones.)

2) You should only be allowed to vote ONLY if you pay taxes. Period. If you don't share the burden of paying for all the crap our Government wastes our money on, you shouldn't be allowed to vote. Period.

3) I believe the Poll Tax SHOULD be reinstated. It should only be five or ten bucks but it would insure that crooked political parties would think twice about busing in huge numbers of illegal aliens, dead people and fraudelent voters to sway the vote. Not many dead people can pay a poll tax! Anyone who can't afford to pay the poll tax can sweep up around the freakin' voting booths for an hour to pay for the priveledge of voting! Nobody plays for free anymore damn it. If you are too infirm to sweep up the place, make 'em sit there and hand out ballots or something!

4) You MUST show a valid form of ID. I don't give a damn if the goverment has to issue ID cards to every single citizen. It ain't Big Brother keeping tabs on the citizenery, it's making damned sure that you ARE a citizen to begin with BEFORE you are allowed to exersize your rights AS a citizen!

The "Voting Rights Act" may have been neccesary back in 1965 but it is NOT needed now. What we NEED is a "Voting Responsibity Act".

I guarantee you there wouldn't be anymore of this "voting irregularities" horseshit if we passed the "Voting Responsibity Act".

While I'm at it...I'd pass ONE more law if I had the power. It's quite simple....

If you are found guilty of tampering with the voting process in ANY way, you will be imprisoned for parole. PERIOD. It's THAT important!

We could use the poll tax to pay for the LIFETIME upkeep of those treasonous morons who would defraud the voting process.

I'd like to have one more law banning Liberal's from the process but, I suppose that would be a bit much. OR would it? Hmmmm.......

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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Insanity Plea

Andrea Yates was found NOT GUILTY by reason of INSANITY. I suppose, you might say that the insanity of Roe versus Wade has allowed women to murder their children for years but that's a matter for another post. Or maybe not. I'm not arrogant enough to imagine that my beady brain is capable of generating any original thought on the subject.

Just a few thoughts on the subject of the insanity plea however.....

Granted, ANYONE who could drown five children in a feces filled bathtub (much less their OWN children) is, beyond doubt, certifiably IN-freakin'-SANE! She is crazier than a cat shot in the ass. No doubt about it.

My question is simple however....

Why is Anrea Yates deemed "Innocent By Reason Of Insanity" and basically sentenced to some arbitrary, non-specific term of confinement in a mental institution during which she may be allowed to walk free IF and WHEN some "mental health" professional decides she is no longer a danger to herself OR society? Is this not INSANITY in and of itself?

Don't think so? Ok....riddle me THIS.....

Was Jeffrey Dahmer "SANE"? (He was found to be "Just Plain GUILTY" even though he kept his victim's body parts in a refrigerator.) He received FIFTEEN consecutive life sentences and thankfully, was murdered with a mop wringer while in prison. Good Karma there.

John Wayne Gacy? (Found "Just Plain GUILTY "even though he dressed up like a clown and killed more people than a dozen Muslim's on a serious Jihad AND buried them under his freakin' house!) He was put to death after receiving 21 life sentences and ten death sentences! Now THAT'S justice in "Ron's Book"!

Charles Manson? (Found "Just Plain Guilty". That weird bastard never even personally killed anyone! He simply talked other moron's into doing it for him. (He would have made a GREAT salesman!) Old Charley is still rotting in prison...thank the Lord!

Those evil bastards were as INSANE as you can get but they got no "Guilty By Reason Of Insanity" sentence...they got what they deserved. PERIOD.

My point is simple...

ANYONE who kills someone has to be a tad bit insane so why the hell do some folks get the Not Guilty By Reason Of Insanity sentence and others get the death penalty or long prison sentences? It makes no sense to me but I do believe that the majority of these ridiculous INSANITY verdicts are given to women. As with the Yate's case, the murderess is deemed to not personally be responsible because of PMS, Post Partem Depression or because of an abusive, neglectful, domineering, manipulative or philandering husband.

I contend that if almost ANY man had committed the crime that Andrea Yates DID there would be no Insanity verdict. No one would buy a bunch of horseshit about his wife being a horrible person or any other excuse. He would be found guilty. Period.

I realize that there have been many cases of men receiving insanity verdicts but it seems to me, and I believe the figures bear me out that women are allowed far more leniency in all criminal cases but especially in murder cases than do men. This is a perfect time to ask and alter the proverbial question....

Shouldn't "what's good for the Gander be good for the Goose"?

Some may say I'm whining but I believe I'm simply commenting on a ridiculous inequity in the so-called Justice System and don't get me started on the downright CRIMINAL inequities in the sentencing of white versus black defendents.

I am equally ticked off that some white collar white dude can rip off pension funds for millions or embezzle millions and get a ten year sentence at a Club Fed yet a seventeen year old Black kid who robs a 7-11 of $100.oo gets twenty years in a SERIOUS prison. That is absolute horsehit too!

Now THAT'S "Insanity"!!!

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006


I'm certain that some folks would say I have "issues". (Isn't that just one of the new era horeshit catch phrases that make you want to puke?) I suppose it's true but I prefer to think of myself as having a good old fashioned appreciation for what is BS and what is not and yes...certain things just seem to torch my ass more than they do most folks.

Allow me to name just ONE for now....

Has anyone else noticed that damn near everyone is a freakin' "HERO" these days?

I saw a news report on TV which told the story of a young woman who happened to be a reporter for the Fox News Channel who "heroically" donated a piece of her kidney, liver, gall bladder, (hell, I don't know which) so that her child might survive some horrible childhood disease. They referred to her as a "hero" or "heroic" so often I fully expected to hear the Marine Corps Hymn at any moment!

Prepare your slings and arrows but, in my opinion and by the very definition of the word... the poor woman is NOT a hero. She is a MOTHER. PERIOD. What kind of piece of sub human debris WOULD NOT donate his or her very heart to save their child? If she didn't do so, she would rightfully be considered a horrible person... right? Who the hell could live with themselves if they didn't at least try and save their child by whatever means? By the way....the reporter never called herself a "hero" the moron doing the story did so. Katherine Herridge (I just remembered her name) probably just thought she was doing what ANY parent should do.

AFTER I started writing this, I hauled off and actually looked up the word "hero" on the online American Heritage Dictionary. To my eternal mortification, THEY claim that a synonym for "hero" is "celebrity"! Oh my Lord...the world has gone to hell in a freakin' gold gilded hand basket if Michael Moore is a freakin' hero.

If John Kerry is a hero I'm a Chinese test pilot!

If.....well, you catch my drift here. I'm an idiot for not knowing the definition of the word before I began ranting BUT....I don't believe that doing something you should do makes you a "hero". Yes, it may confirm that you are a decent human being possessing a soul, the ability to love someone more than yourself and yes, I suppose, a conscience but sorry....that don't make you a "hero" in my book.

What is my definition of a "hero" or "heroism"? Who do I believe is or was a true "hero"? Good questions.... if indeed you actually asked them.'s a few examples off the top of my beady little brain.

1) A single mother or father (although it's much more rare that a man does this) who does WHATEVER it takes to provide for her (or his) children when their spouse takes a hike.

This is different from the donor lady in my opinion because society today would assign her (or him) a touchy feeley "disorder" so as to justify why she (or he) gave up and abondoned their children during a time of hardship. Or, more likely, they would dedicate an entire hour of Oprah praising them for "doing what's best for their children" by putting them in foster care so they could subsequently be abused and neglected by total strangers looking for a monthly check from the state government. Just look at how people justify abortion by claiming "the child would grow up in abject poverty". People can justify almost ANYTHING today.

2) The cops and fire fighters who went into the World Trade Center knowing the danger before they did so. Any one of those men AND women could have turned tail and run but they didn't. No one would have blamed them for not committing suicide. Those who ran into that hellish disaster while everyone else hauled ass are true "HEROES" in my opinion.

3) Flight 93 passengers. (Note: "I'm not sure that I can force myself to actually pay to watch the Oliver Stone movie even though, by most accounts, it's actually a pretty good depiction of what actually happened... as opposed to everything else he's ever done".)

I digress...

There MUST have been a bunch of Conservatives on that flight! Had it been full of Libirals the White House would still be being rebuilt!

By all accounts, the passengers on flight 93 knew what the terrorist's intended and rose up with a heroic vengeance in spite of that knowledge. They could have begged, they might have hoped that they would somehow live through the experience or even tried to help the terrorist's find there "happy place" but they didn't. They took those bastards with them before they reached their intended target. That's pretty damned incredible to me. "HEROIC".

4) Audie "Sack of Hell" Murphy! Just read his record. The man carried more hardware than ACE.

5) ANY Medal of Honor recipient. I once interviewed dozens of those guys for a magazine article and was simply blown away by what they did when it would have been completely acceptable if they had not done so.

(Side Note: NEVER refer to a Medal of Honor recipient as a Medal of Honor "winner". As Marine MOH recipient "Speedy" Wilson told me shortly before he passed away..."We recieved the medal from folks who thought we deserved it I suppose but I don't reckon any of us won a danged thing. I'm a recipient not a winner."

Now THAT'S a "HERO"!)

By the way...have ya'll heard about SSG DAVID BELLAVIA ? Google his name and be prepared to read about one baddassed "HERO". He's a nominee for the Medal of Honor for his actions in Iraq.

I'm going to continue this train of thought later.

Damn, but I DO get long winded! Sorry. I really need to come up with some shorter posts!

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Monday, July 24, 2006

A Confession...

Hi, I'm Ron and....I'm a "Bubba".

There. I've said it and I feel liberated somehow.

Apparently, every Southern clan has a "Bubba" and I'm IT for my family in the South. The fact is that most of my relatives on my dad's side are Yankees. Hell, my Dad was a Yankee..... but he got better after living down South most of his life. Of course, he still calls his hometown "Baldimur" as opposed to "Baltimore". Hell, we can't all be true Sountherners right?

I am, was and always will be MY family's "Bubba" or "Bub" depending on how big a hurry they are in when referring to me. It's a heavy burden to bear but, being a true sack of Southern masculinity....I can handle the responsibility. After all, "Bubba's" don't shirk their Bubbaditidy...they embrace it!

I became "Bubba" when my older brother couldn't pronounce "brother" which, I suspect is how most Southern boys become "Bubba's" in the first place. Mike was (and IS , of course), the first born son to Howard Ronnello (yep....Ronnello) II, scion of a well to do family in Baltimore . His bizarre old man kicked him out of the palatial family manse at the tender age of fifteen. My paternal grandfather's attorney gave my dad twenty five bucks and a hearty, "hope you have a nice life". (I'm not making this up!)

Ronnello the elder was nuttier than squirrell droppings especially after my Grandma went insane probably from living with his crazy ass. (Again...who the hell could make this stuff up?)

ANYHOW.....My old man met Mom at the tender age of seventeen while visiting a five and dime store in Charleston, S.C. where she was working as a cashier.

My Mom, Blondine, (again...I couldn't invent this stuff) was (and IS) a drop dead gorgeous strawberry blonde who who was named for a popular hair dye at the time and she stopped my Dad dead in his tracks once he laid eyes on her.

Dad was a cross between a muscle bound Tony Curtis and Sean Connery. (Don't doubt me folks...I'll include pictures if you insist.) Pop was a latter day Greek god who was in the Navy at the time because he had convinced his nutcase father to sign a permission slip allowing him to join the Navy at fifteen because my Dad LOOKED to be of age AND the crazy old bastard didn't want to have support my under-aged father OR his two older, yet still dependent sisters. He was a real prick who, I'm certain, has a lot to answer for if he ever gets near the Pearly Gates!

Back to the story.....

My Dad REFUSED to allow his first born male child to carry the name "Ronnello" probably because it had caused him so much, shall we say, turmoil in his youth. In any case, he probably didn't want Mike to have to deal with that shit.

Fast forward approximately fourteen months and Blondine was with child again. You could say I suppose, that she was actually "with Ronnello" because, by now, Dad had decided that, if they were blessed with another son, he would proudly bestow upon that unfortunate little shit the family name of "Ronnello". That would be me.

Now...I've gotta ask you...How many "thirds" do YOU know who were actually the SECOND born son to a guy named, the second or Junior? Hmmm?


Aren't they usually, almost ALWAYS, unfailingly.... THE FIRST BORN SON? You bet your ass they are!

Well....I became the third...III....Trey....Trip...Ronnello so....of course, I embraced the "BUBBA" tag!

As a result and for a long time, I upheld the Code of the "Bubba" which apparenty goes something like this:

Always be a bit different than your siblings.

Play Futtball...not Football....Futtball. Thanks to Coach Shealy.

Find new and ingenious ways to screw up.

Break the law a few times AND get caught doing so.

Drink too much AND too often.

Smoke too much of everything way too often.

Get married and divorced TWICE before the age of thirty.

Survive what SHOULD have been a lethal car crash brought about by a severe attack of dumbass.

Play music in the kind of bars where they search you for weapons when you arrive and loan you one 'till you leave if you forgot to bring yours with you.

Never pass up an opportunity to say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong people.

Never give a fat rat's ass what other people think of you!

And last but not least....

Get past the past and eventually become a better man.

Most "Bubba's" do.... EVENTUALLY. I thank God that I did.

They really should develop a twelve step program for "Bubba's".....

Hi....I'm Ron...and I'm a recovering "Bubba".

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Sunday, July 23, 2006


I've spent quite a bit of time reading other blogs recently and I've come to a few conclusions.

1) I really wish I had paid attention during English class. I have no freakin' clue as to where to place punctuation marks, when to begin a new paragraph or, for that matter, when to use a comma. I suppose I tend to write "by the seat of my pants" which is of course, closely akin to "talking out of my ass".

2) There are some really sick, low life morons out there in the B-Sphere! "Wierd" doesn't begin to cover it. I'm new to blogging so, maybe I'm a bit naive but DAMN!

3) I pray to God that I never become "Serious" about blogging. Man, some people get downright freaky with their blogs!

4) I will NEVER go to a "BlogFest". Hell, I don't like most so-called "normal" people. Why the hell would I want to associate with a bunch of freaks who blog about their bowel movements, extremely personal matters and other incredibly wierd stuff?

5) Unless you are a true genius, totally original or just plain bizarre, you don't have a prayer of becoming a huge "success" in the B-Sphere.....I simply ain't either of those. I'm frighteningly "Average" or even slightly below average I fear. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE to hear myself talk but I have no delusions...I'm not all that freakin' bright.

6) I enjoy reading Southerners MUCH more than Yankees. Southerners seem to have a more laid back attitude and can RANT without seeming to boil over. Yankee's can say "I love you" and it sounds like "Why don't you go screw yourself?" Go figure.

7) I prefer to read male blogs as opposed to female blogs. Male bloggers seem to be happier and as a result, more humerous. Just my perception....again, I'm new to this stuff.

8) I am SERIOUSLY out of touch with the mainstream and what is "popular" in the world. For example: Most of the music or artist's people reference on their blogs, I've never heard of. I think that's a good thing.

9) I need to have one of our designers build me an "idiot proof" blog site. I can't figure out how to make this Blogspot site do what I want it to do. I'd really like to make it more interesting but....not enough to take the time to actually LEARN it!

10) I am going to continue to blog. I think it's really cool to "meet" other people via the blog, have them give me feedback and exchange opinions without ever having to go to dinner with them or send them Christmas cards!!

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